My mother once told me that she would have filed for a divorce with my father if not for her children. It is heart-wrenching to hear a woman make such a remark on her marriage, a legalized union between two people, especially when she is somebody whose blood courses through one's veins. In this respect, one can see that as much as marriage can bring forth the happiness that it is commonly associated with, it can usher in sadness, pain, and regret. Therefore, I do not agree that everyone should get married; rather, I believe that marriage should be a matter of personal decision and freedom of choice.
There are many reasons that may inspire, or drive, people to marriage. Conventionally, marriage is a way whereby women obtain financial support, a means to maintain their lives. This notion is often tied in with the traditional role of women in society, as mothers and wives whose existence is based in the interiors of a home. On the other hand, in today's context, marriage may be more commonly associated with the concept of love between a couple in more liberal societies. From this viewpoint, it is a product of neither harsh reality nor practicality, but a result of conscious decision and free will. In contrast, arranged marriages, that are still a common sight in such societies as India, emphasise a love that is nurtured after the marriage, and not before it.
[...] These victims are trapped: seeking help from the law would more likely discriminate against them, and divorce, seen as disgrace, is a fate worse than abuse. In fact, this plague is so rampant that 70%-80% of wives are battered on a regular basis. However, such domestic violence is not confined within the boundaries of arranged marriages. In China of urban women and 33% of rural women suffer from spousal abuse, while it is seen as a badge of honour and courage in Africa. Therefore, understandably, in such cases it would be preferable that marriage not be of utmost priority. [...]
[...] These two scenarios are reflected in D.H. Lawrence's “Odour of Chrysanthemums”, in which Elizabeth Bates, the protagonist, eventually realises that she had married a “stranger”, someone whom she had in the dark and fought in the dark”. What this serves to illustrate is that under possible circumstances, marriage can prove to be a painfully regrettable tragedy akin to a life fettered to an utter, complete stranger. Otherwise, however, marriage may bless one's life with bliss, making one think of the future with joy this, then, is when it is desirable. [...]
[...] Consequently, women are not only able to survive without the financial support of a man, but are even capable of amassing a financial clout for themselves, by themselves. Thus, women no longer have a need to marry to be supported financially, that is to say, marriage is no more a necessity to them as a means of survival. This, in turn, renders marriage practically useless. In the case that marriage is borne out of both parties' consent to love each other via this union, it may be altogether a mistake. [...]
[...] No doubt some may argue that just as this legalised union has a start in marriage, so has it an end in divorce. However, in my opinion, marriage is a commitment within a couple, sometimes lifelong, that everyone should consider carefully. In addition, the children, if any, have to be taken into consideration, for when they are involved, new complications are introduced, a familiar example of which is the legal custody. As a conclusion, marriage may not always herald the fortune that it is often associated with; at times it may even scar the people involved. [...]
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